I hear this a lot from dads.

It’s a beautiful expression in a way.

The sentiment I take away from it is “I love my kid so much, and I know I’m not perfect and I’m afraid that my mistakes will have irreversible negative impacts on my kid.”

Sometimes we say things off the cuff without thinking about it too much. But sometimes those things we say point to hidden beliefs and subconscious orientations towards life/parenting/ourselves….

Rachael and I are having a new baby any day now. This past week my closest friends graced me with a ceremony honoring the transition of becoming a father of three. It was a surprisingly profound experience that helped shift something inside of me and I left feeling more grounded and ready for our family’s new arrival.

“Loneliness is the inability to share yourself with others.”

The potency of this struck me. It may be true that some people are so isolated, there may be no one to share with. But most of us are blessed with people who care about us. 

And yet that doesn’t prevent loneliness. 

It’s not that there’s no one out there willing to listen, it’s that we’re inhibited from sharing…

Little Zephyr is uncannily adorable. His smile melts hearts. His little voice softens you. I wish I could capture all of his facial expressions in a little jar so I could look at them when I’m feeling down. His blue eyes are so bright and clear you can almost see into the spirit world.

But he also has the ability to to rile me up and make me want to yell or scream. Being two, he learns by testing boundaries. He has very little capacity to self-regulate. He’s not developmentally capable of being reasoned with.

Whether we notice the Positive or the Negative makes a huge difference in our family’s experience.

"Don't do that sweetheart".

"No, you can't have that, please stop asking".

"Stop bugging your brother and give him some space."

"Why did you do that?!"

"Your room is a mess...again".

Welcome to my Saturday morning.