How I Prepared for My Third Child
Rachael and I are having a new baby any day now. This past week my closest friends graced me with a ceremony honoring the transition of becoming a father of three. It was a surprisingly profound experience that helped shift something inside of me and I left feeling more grounded and ready for our family’s new arrival.
If I’m being honest, there was a part of me that thought it was a bit superfluous. I’ve been a dad for almost 7 years at this point. I know a lot is about to change, but for the most part, I feel prepared.
And yet, something less rational within me was whispering, “Gather your friends around a Fire. Do something to mark this transition.” I didn’t listen. Fortunately, my dear friends must have been hearing that whispering too and they took reins for me.
The experience itself was simple. Walking in nature as a group of men who are fathers, followed by intentional, but not serious, time around a fire. Some blessings, and toasts of whiskey, and an opportunity for me to share and express a bit about where I am and what these past 9 months have been like for me.
Sometimes simple things that come from the heart have a big impact.
Humans have gathered in this way since the beginning. But somehow, in this post-modern era, these types of experiences have been washed away. The modern baby-shower, while sweet in how it materially prepares families to welcome a new baby, rarely touches the more soulful realms of the heart.
Women have started reclaiming these intentional ceremonial spaces in many cultural pockets around the country with the “Blessingway”. It’s time for men to join in on the wisdom.
I’m entering this transition knowing that my brothers have my back, not just because they told me so, but because they showed up for me. I got to see and feel how they’re here for me. I feel more supported and there’s a new level of permission to reach out and ask if and when I’m needing something.
What a gift.
If you’re at all curious or interested in what something like this might look like for you or a close friend. You can learn more about about our Rite of Passage Offerings here. We’re happy to help design and facilitate a ceremony or ritual for you or one of your friends or brothers.
I’ll keep ya’all posted about the baby and the ride ahead.
With an open heart,
Noah
